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In moments like this, I can imagine there’d be almost a thrill to faking phone sex, like it gives you a degree of control and supremacy you probably wouldn’t get in real life. But that’s not always the way, with some fake phone sexers feeling riddled by guilt. “I did it once with my lovely boyfriend when he was in Japan,” one friend tells me. “I felt so guilty but I just knew there was no way I was going to finish. And I felt like he really needed to… so I just pretended. I still feel bad about it.” Broken down, the reasons for faking it over the phone aren’t too dissimilar to those for faking it IRL. Naomi Magnus, psychotherapist and founder at North London Therapy, puts it down to a few factors: “Perceived high expectations of heightened intimacy, performance anxiety, or a fear of disappointing their partner, and unrealistic cultural portrayals of sexual or romantic encounters.”Officials Shrimp Hocus Pocus I Cannot Focus Shirt
Perhaps one of the key differences, though, is that for those in long-distance relationships, engaging in regular phone sex might be considered a key moment for them to connect with each other. In many cases, phone sex might be their only opportunity for sexual intimacy; the stakes are higher. Hence why faking it repeatedly can be so damaging for a relationship—it introduces an element of deceit. “It can cause long-term discrepancies between internal feelings and outward expressions,” explains Magnus. “This can lead to emotional detachment and diminished self-esteem. It’s also likely that each partner will feel isolated in different ways, as one person is not behaving genuinely, and the other may consciously or subconsciously detect insincerity. If fake intimacy continues throughout the relationship, the couple could experience a breakdown in communication, which could rock the stability of the whole relationship.”
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