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This was what I wanted, and as I sat in Devgan’s office, she assured me that I would “not be burning any bridges” were I to go the more subtle route. It would feel like getting Botox, Devgan promised—some numbing cream, a few pricks, perhaps a tiny bit of redness—but the results would be instant and last for up to a year. She compared the procedure to “magical, three-dimensional makeup,” a real-life Facetuning. Magic was indeed what I was looking for—to look both better and exactly the same—or maybe it was more that I was engaged in magical thinking. Isn’t that always what we want? To somehow change our life, without changing anything about our lifestyle? A few days later, I paid a visit to the office of Michael Bassiri-Tehrani, MD, another plastic surgeon, whose “tip stitch” had recently gone viral on TikTok. The procedure—a few sutures inside the nose to pull the tip upward a few millimeters—is a standard part of a traditional rhinoplasty, but Bassiri-Tehrani was now routinely performing it à la carte, often for men who otherwise might be too embarrassed to get a nose job, but also for women in advance of special events where they knew they’d be photographed smiling (which draws the nose downward). Would lifting the tip of my nose up somehow disguise what I was now privately calling “my basketball bump”?I Don T Pretend To Be Something I M Not I Know I M An Asshole And I Own That Shit Like A Boss Shirt
It might, Bassiri-Tehrani told me, but he wouldn’t recommend it. If the choice were only his to make, he’d prefer to perform a true, “well-balanced” rhinoplasty that, he said, would have the “ironic” effect of looking “more natural” than a “bunch of minor half-steps.” He proceeded to take a series of photographs of my face, and then we relocated to his office where he began to tinker on Photoshop. He would bring the radix up, reduce the bump, and add a bit of volume. The results, when he flipped around his screen, were surprising. From straight on, I looked almost exactly like myself; from a three-quarter angle my nose was still large but now perfectly straight—something no amount of filler could have achieved.
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